Brittany the Vampire Slayer
by PortlyMerwench
Summary: Brittany S. Pierce, you know the one. She of rainbows, unicorns, ducks in the hat, and stealer of dates. But don't let her Technicolor outlook on life fool you. She won't hesitate to stab you with her bedazzled stake, right through your un-beating heart. She is after all a slayer. She's Brittany the Vampire Slayer.


**Disclaimer- I don't own the characters, BTVS, or Glee, but the story bits are all me**

**Title: The Lovechild of Rainbow Dash & Evel Knievel**

**Introduction:**

Into every generation a slayer is born...when one dies another is chosen to take her place. We know that's all it takes.

...

Giles is already down for the count, lying unnoticed behind a tall oak tree. Buffy looks on as Willow gets slammed into a headstone. She ends up on all fours, wobbling, trying to stand. After two tries, Willow leans against the headstone, exhausted. She's decided to wait until she can see straight before attempting to stand. She throws a battle weary look in Buffy's direction.

From atop a crypt, Buffy stakes the tall vamp in the dirty gray business suit before he can punch her in the face for the third time. She executes a front flip over the next two. As she turns to stake them, another vampire sneaks up and pushes her from behind. She is thrown off balance and slams hard into the ground below.

As she rolls away, trying to escape the three pursuing vamps, she looks around. Her team is going down. She watches on as Angel finally dusts the vamp he's been tussling with. He shares a worried look with Buffy. Within her quickly closing triangle of vampires, out of breath, she does a running forward kick to propel herself off of the ground. As her legs fly through the air, she stakes each vampire in the heart, and very shortly she's standing in a swirling column of dust and ashes.

Asking no one in particular, she says, "Is it just me, or are they getting stronger?"

Xander answers her with, "No, that's just your fatigue talking. My guys are as squishy as jello." His snappy retort earns him a collision with an oak tree. He rolls down onto the ground, clutching his side. "No, correction, that was just my concussion talking. I'm the jello." He looks over at Willow, asking, "Why am I always the jello?" Everyone is too busy fighting to answer. He asks a little louder, "No seriously, I think I just cracked a rib over here, and maybe some spleen too!"

Willow rushes over and pulls him to his feet. They slowly start to back up as 4 new vampires approach, stopping only when they are back-to-back with Buffy and Angel. Surrounded, it's four against a lot more than four.

Suddenly everyone, even the vampires, look around as a high pitch whine rumbles through the air. In a blur, a small motor bike flies over the assembled group. The rider's suit is what would happen if Evel Knievel and Rainbow Dash had a baby. The bike lands skidding around in a wide arch, throwing clumps of grass into the faces of the vampires. The bike comes to a stop as one booted foot plants itself firmly into the ground.

Almost in slow motion the helmet comes off, and after a good flip of her blonde hair, the bike's owner is revealed. Before anyone has a chance to react, she tosses her star studded helmet and mini-cape to Xander. "Hold these for me, will ya?"

Barely catching them, he stares, mouth agape.

"Thanks, BRB."

All he can mumble in reply is, "Y-yeah, sure, hot, blonde, mystery chick. Whatever you say. Your wish is my command." Willow elbows him right in his cracked spleen. "Ouch!"

The group, mesmerized, watches as the new comer bends down and pulls from her boot two very sharp, bedazzled, stakes.

Then, as if someone rang a magical bell, the fighting begins anew. Everyone scatters, chasing or being chased.

The 'hot, blonde, mystery chick' grabs the closest vampire she can, eager for her first dusting. Buffy watches in horror as mystery girl throws Angel up against a tall tombstone, stake at the ready. Buffy quickly dispatches the vamp in front of her, while yelling, "NOOOOOOOO!"

But it's too late. With blinding speed, the other blonde girl drives her stake towards Angel while using her free hand to pin him down. Just before she drives the point through his heart, she stops. Buffy watches the stranger tilt her head to the side, and above all of the brawling, hears her say, "Soul; cool!" Without missing a beat, the biker chick twirls her stake around her finger and shoves it in the opposite direction, staking the vamp who was approaching from behind. Next she cartwheels out of the way of a second vamp, leaving Angel to fend for himself.

Buffy is so shocked by what she's witnessed that another vamp, stuck in a time warp, gets the drop on her. She's knocked down on all-4s, with the vamp riding her like a cheap bronco-bar bull. Taunting her, he says, "C'mon slayer, where's the fight. I expected this to be a lot harder!"

She takes one of her legs, and kicks it up into the vamp's back. As he falls forward she uses his momentum to do a front roll so that she lands straddling him. Just before she stakes him, she says, "Hey loser, 1982 wants it's tracksuit back."

Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy can see Angel duking it out with two vamps. He knocks one down with a strong right-hook, and grabs the other by his shirt, tossing him onto his friend. He then picks up a broken tree branch and shish kabobs them.

Willow and Xander decide that there's power in numbers and are working side-by-side, and back-to-back, while fighting. A particularly nasty vampire chases them up onto a crypt. Before he can jump up and join them, they knock the marble angel topper onto his head, decapitating him before it hits the ground.

The mystery girl is having her own fun. She throws one stake to her left, while mimicking the action on the right. Each stake bores a hole through the head of 3 vampires. Seeing that she's unarmed, with her weapons stuck in two different tree trunks, 10 vampires encircle her. "Hey young thing, you new to the neighborhood?" The first vampire attacks. The 'young thing' catches and tosses him to the ground in a body slam that is worthy of the title belt. He groans and rolls back to his cronies, shouting, "You're gonna pay for that!" For a few minutes the vampires take turns coming at her, one-on-one. She tosses them aside like ragdolls. Finally it occurs to the vampires that they should all attack at once.

Buffy rushes over to help, but before she can jump into the fray, she can see the other blonde doing a handstand in the center of the vortex of vamp. Then she sees the girl start spinning like Chun-Li from Street Fighter. Buffy throws her hands up in disbelief. "Seriously? She has _blades_ in the tips of her boots? Why don't _I_ have blade in the tips of _my_ boots?" Frustrated, she finishes off four vamps in quick succession. Hungry for more she does a cartwheel, knocking two more vamps to the ground as she does. Landing in a kneeling position between them, she stakes them simultaneously.

Buffy looks over as the blonde with mad fighting skills emerges from her vampy dogpile victorious. Giving her props, at least inside of her head, Buffy watches the other girl triumphantly stand in a pile of ash, ankle deep. Buffy does a slow blink. The fight is over. Quickly she assesses her team. Bumps and bruises all around, but nothing major. She gives the newcomer another glance, and can't help but notice that she posses nary a scratch.

Like a switch, the blonde biker goes from badass to squealing fangirl, grabbing Buffy, spinning her around.

Shaking herself free, Buffy fixes the girl with a hard glare. It doesn't seem to dampen the other girl's enthusiasm one bit. Frowning in confusion, she asks, "Who are you?"

"Bufffffyyyyy!"

Frowning even harder, Buffy corrects her. "No, _I'm _Buffy. Who are you?"

The blonde biker finally stops bouncing around long enough to explain herself. "I know, I know! It's so exciting to meet you! Do you think we can take a selfie?" She waits for Buffy to respond.

Buffy is waiting for the fangirl to answer to _her_ question. She thinks that maybe the other girl did get knocked in the head after all. Buffy's eyebrows go up as she makes the 'well go on' motion at the other girl. Still not getting a response, she repeats, "Who are _you_?"

"Brittany."

As if that was answer enough, Brittany walks over to retrieve her helmet from the ground. Every eye follows her movements, and every jaw drops. Brushing the helmet off as she turns back towards the group, Brittany smiles brightly. Next she jumps up into one of oak trees to get her mini-cape from where it landed after Xander threw it up in an attempt to confuse a pursuing vampire with glitter. After reattaching it to her collar, she jumps back down, landing just in front of the Scoobies.

Willow is the first one to find her voice. "Br-Brittany who?"

"Brittany the Vampire Slayer!"

Giles, finally regaining consciousness, stumbles over to the group. While cleaning his glasses with his handkerchief, he asks, "Well it looks as if you got it all sorted out. Did I miss anything?"

...later at the Bronze…

Bored, Buffy is using her straw to swirl the ice around in her drink. Willow, after taking a sip of her own drink, peeks over her shoulder and asks, "So why aren't you over there getting all dancey?"

Buffy shrugs. "I dunno, I'm feeling rather undancey at the moment." Poking out her bottom lip, she says, "From the looks of it, Xander isn't having any problem." She watches as Brittany as she dances with Xander. Well, it's really more like Brittany dancing and Xander just happens to be swaying wildly in her vicinity. Huffing, Buffy mutters under her breath, "Cracked spleen, my foot!" Making an even more frowny face, she turns to Willow, "Clearly she's had some kind of training."

"Oh definitely." Willow offers Buffy a compassionate look.

"She's not better than me, is she?"

Sitting up a straighter, Willow rocks a little from side to side as she answers with, "Oh no, of course not. You're both great." Seeing the alarmed look on Buffy's face, she quickly adds, "But-but she obviously has loose morals." Her eyes widen as she leans in to make her point. Glancing over her shoulder at the dance floor, she says, "I mean what kind of move was that?" She flicks her hand in mock disgust. "Sure she _seems _sweet, with all of her rainbows, and sparkles, and whatnot, but you and I both know that you can never trust sparkly people."

Buffy adds, "And definitely not sparkly vampires."

Nodding a little too hard in agreement, Willow ends with, "I prefer the more seasoned, non-sparkly, original slayer." She taps the top of Buffy's hand, compelling the other girl to look at her.

Buffy gives Willow a little smile. "But we like her, right?"

"Of course we like her. But don't you worry, you'll always be the number one 'B' in my slayer book."

Although she's still a little miffed, Buffy turns with Willow to watch Brittany twirl around the dance floor.

…

Don't get me wrong, I love Buffy, and I really love Faith, but I love Brittany most of all. (And no, I couldn't stand Kendra.)

I hope you liked it! Stay classy (:


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